Today is my birthday

Today is my birthday. It's not what I expected it to be. It's gray and drizzly and my head feels like a fog has landed and will never lift. I know it will, but today it feels like it won't. I know it's childish to really look forward to your birthday, but I can't help myself. I always do. It's never too different from any other day but something feels special all day long. But it's also lonely. Why are birthdays lonely? It puts me in the head too much. Reflecting on the last twelve months, trying to determine whether they've been of much worth. What even happened last year?!

Is it just getting older, or do birthdays feel weird to you too? Do you get too pensive on your special day too?